A New Beginning
by hinakyrie
Summary: Now that Bleach is over, I wanted to write a more cannon piece on Toshiro and Momo in terms of what happens after the FKT arc, specifically in regards to the conversations between Toshiro and Momo after she wakes up. This is my take on that scenario.


Awakening

Soul Society. The Thirteen Court Guard Squads. The academy. Protecting others. Renji. Izuru. Her hair in a bun. Piercing ice. Blackness. She knew there was more to the story than these vague recollections, but Momo hit a painful wall whenever she tried to dig deeper. As she spun in this limbo state (no body seemed present), she tried to fill in the multiple gaps in her story to no avail. Anytime she racked her brain, pain would rocket through her essence, deterring her from overthinking her past.

She felt like she had been in this state for hundreds of years, but time was a foreign concept here, wherever this place was. While no one else was there physically, she could pick up snippets of sound as she swirled around in this odd dimension.

"Captain, do you really think she'll pull through?"

A hiss. "What do you mean? The organs are back, and she's stable."

"She's breathing, but you've heard what people have been suggesting." The voice was rough, carrying the distinctness of the eleventh division.

"Not yet. I believe in her."

"Sir, what if that isn't enough this time around? Don't ice me, but she's been through hell, multiple times now."

A disturbance in the energy around her made her shiver. It rumbled like the roar of a dragon.

"Don't you understand, Ikkau? She _has_ to survive. She has no choice in the matter."

Then, pressure squeezing around her, warm as the tickling flames in the lantern she would use to read at night.

 _Hmmm, why did that pop into my head?_

Much too soon the pressure vanished, and her world returned to the same mundane emptiness.

Then, more mumbling.

"Captain Hitsugaya, you're leaving already? I've told you before that hearing the voices of people they care about can help bring patients back to consciousness. You stop in every couple of days and stand there, but you never stay more than a couple of minutes."

The answer in reply was splintered, broken. "Captain Unohana, when I'm here, I can hardly stand the couple of minutes."

"Is it that hard to look at her? Is it really that hard to say _something_?"

Momo heard an abrupt swishing noise, and the silence returned for a while.

"Hey, Momo, I had some time, so thought I would swing by. Can't believe what happened to you. But, we both know you are strong, and you have never been afraid to protect others. Remember that crazy stunt you pulled in the academy? Jeez, you have moments of more heart than the rest of us combined. You better snap out of this. If not for me, for him. That punk has always been a genius and a bit of a pain, but, we're worried about him. He might be overdoing it. What he did to you is tearing him apart."

She was getting so tired of the irksome inactivity. _Who is the 'he' Renji is talking about anyway?_

Momo concentrated, trying again to remember what happened to her before she had lost consciousness. There was fighting; that much she remembered. Some of the kido combinations she had implemented throughout the bouts had been effective, but there was someone she could not defeat. There was someone else too. He had white hair.

Sudden jamming pain, and Momo tried not to scream. She heard anxious whispers around her, and she sank further into oblivion than she had been before.

"I know you don't really know who I am, but I'm in the area and had to say something before I left. I owe you an apology. My one job was to watch for an opening while the others fought. I should have noticed the switch earlier. You didn't deserve it then, and you don't deserve this. That damn Aizen."

He was right about being a stranger. While his speaking had pulled her back from the chasm of complete obliviousness, Momo didn't know who the voice belonged to. It was weird because all the other voices had sounded familiar even though she couldn't place individual names with them all.

"Kurosaki, what are you doing here?"

Momo quaked at frostiness she could feel around her. _Who is causing this?_

"Don't step in here all cold and cool like that! Are you trying to give me a heart attack? If you were eavesdropping, you already know, so don't get testy with me, Toshiro!"

A patronizing sigh. "This is nowhere close to me being testy, Ichigo."

"Yeah, you should see him when I don't do the paperwork. He doesn't understand that it's out of my control! It's not my fault I'm so beautiful, and people like to go out late drinking with me."

"Rangiku, SHUT UP! I'm leaving, and I better not hear of you two disturbing Momo while I'm out."

Momo felt the sudden urge to laugh. The protectiveness of the mysterious person and Rangiku's ridiculousness made her feel warm and fuzzy. She could even feel a pulsing around her that she hadn't really noticed before in this place. She relaxed in the pleasant rhythm. It was like a heartbeat. Slowly, she realized it was, in fact, a heartbeat. With a sudden jolt, she realized that it was hers.

"I'm sorry no one has come to visit in a few days, Lieutenant Hinamori. The tenth division has been on a mission. You're continuing to show improvement, but you need to wake up. Your division misses you, and your new captain needs your help. He has stopped in a couple of times and was here when you were stable enough to be transferred from the twelfth division. I think you'll like him."

 _Oh, that's what's happening to me. What has been happening in the division? I have to . . . c'mon, Momo, WAKE UP!_

Momo blinked. It felt weird to stretch her eye muscles. As her vision cleared, she tried to move but felt a gentle hand on her shoulder.

"Well, took you long enough," said a busty voice.

It hurt to smile, but Momo smiled anyway as her eyes focused. It was refreshing to see Rangiku. She looked tired, and she had chosen a new hairstyle. Still, she appeared the same otherwise. Momo saw three butterflies leave her hand.

Noticing her puzzled look, Rangiku stated, "One for Taicho, one for Captain Unohana, and one for your captain."

"Oh, how long was I unconscious? Everything's so blurry."

"You've been out for about twenty days. Wait a second. How much do you even remember? Man, Aizen did a real number on you."

"That's right. Captain Aizen was there. We were fighting and then . . . 46, I got stabbed. . . OWWW!" A ramming pain shot through her, and she rested her head in her hands. The dam had broken, and many of the blanks she was drawing previously was starting to get filled in. She remembered Aizen trying to take over soul society. Tears sprang to her eyes at the memory. She remembered the white-haired man, Captain Hitsugaya, and how he had been such a constant part of her existence. No, that name was wrong though. His name was Shiro-chan. She remembered fighting some of-what were they? Oh, yeah, espada-with Rangiku. Beyond that, she couldn't really remember anything else.

"Momo!" Rangiku was by her side rubbing her back.

A sense of calm invaded the air as Captain Unohana entered the room. "I'm glad to see you up, Lieutenant Hinamori. Just breathe. I'm sure this is weird, and you must have plenty of questions for us."

"What's wrong with her, Captain Unohana?"

Captain Unohana gently urged Momo to look at her. "Nothing is wrong, per say, Lieutenant Matsumoto. Momo, I know this must be overwhelming. It's going to take some time to get used to. I think you're simply repressing some of the memories that happened. That is a normal reaction for as violent as a trauma you went through, so don't force yourself to recall those right away. "

"So, what exactly am I not remembering?" _After all, the parts I'm remembering aren't great. What's so bad the state of my body degenerates if I think too hard about it?_

"Don't worry about that right now. We'll take it slowly, day by day. You'll be able to return to your duties in the fifth division soon enough. We'll only fill in what happened in the War for Karakura Town as you start to feel more comfortable with everything again. You just need time."

"Yeah, no overdoing it," said a blonde-haired man as he walked into the room, captain haori fluttering nonchalantly around him. "It's a pleasure to finally be able to interact with my lieutenant. Nice to meet you. I'm Captain Shinji Hirako."

"It's nice to meet you, Captain," whispered Momo, butterflies whirling in her stomach. He didn't seem completely unfamiliar, but they definitely had never talked before.

Shinji glanced at Captain Unohana and took a small step towards his lieutenant. "No reason to be nervous. I won't hurt you."

"Yeah, he knows better. If he hurts you, I'll kill him," vowed Toshiro as entered. His face was flushed and while his reiatsu was in check, it was definitely fluctuating.

Shinji rolled his eyes. "I'm well aware. You've made that perfectly clear, several times in fact."

"Shiro-chan," Momo whispered, ignoring the banter between the two. "You look different."

"Momo . . . thank goodness you're up." While he was clearly relieved to see her, there was something he was holding back. It was obvious by the way he just kept looking at her, like there was something important to say but didn't know how. He shuffled his feet, something she hadn't seen him do in years. Even with that infantile gesture, Momo noticed something that wasn't there before. While he had always acted older than his age after entering the academy, his eyes held newfound maturity. They even flashed with a hint of sadness, like he had skipped adulthood and was a broken old man. Dark bags resided under his eyes, and his uniform was hanging off him more loosely than it had before.

"Yeah, but what's wrong?"

Toshiro clenched his hands together. More out of habit than annoyance he grumbled, "How many times do I have to tell you to call me Captain Hitsugaya?" His frown became more pronounced. "Actually, I'm not sure I deserve to have you call me that." He gazed at her, running his hand through his snowy hair and opening and closing his mouth several times like a goldfish. "Momo, I'm s-"

"He's so glad to see you up," interjected Shinji, noticing Captain Unohana's widening eyes, grabbing a very irritated tenth guard captain and dragging him towards the door. "He is a child prodigy and all though, so Captain Unohana and I need to pick his brain about something. Now, I'm getting you cake, Lieutenant Hinamori, and your first official order is to eat it."

Momo shook her head, confused. "Where is he taking him, and what type of order is that?"

"Captain Hitsugaya will come back in a few minutes. Why don't you two catch up! I'll be back," reassured Captain Unohana.

"Well, that's not suspicious at all," grumbled Momo. "Shiro-chan is involved with those repressed memories, isn't he?"

Rangiku didn't bother trying to deny it. "Momo, one day at a time. We'll cross that bridge when we come to it."

Hanataro peered into the room. "It's great to see you up, Lieutenant Hinamori. I have cake for you."

"Captain Hirako is a different kind of captain, isn't he?" said Momo, accepting the cake from her fellow shinigami with a smile of appreciation. She couldn't help approaching a new superior with suspicion after such brutal and lengthy manipulation from Captain Aizen, but her initial impressions of him were favorable.

Rangiku smiled. "Yeah, I think you will like him. He was toyed with by Aizen pretty extensively as well, so he can understand what you're going through, especially after what ha . . . well, he'll look out for you, like an uncle or a cousin or something like that."

"Hmmm, good to know. Do you have a mirror?"

Rangiku frowned, "Are you sure you want to look?"

As Momo chewed on the piece of cake, she believed her eyes popped out of her head. She had forgotten how much she missed food. "So, this is what heaven tastes like! Wait, Rangiku, I look that bad?"

Rangiku laughed at Momo's outward display of sugar rush. "You were in critical condition for a long time, Momo. If you look, you'll have to cut yourself some slack."

Momo still insisted and Rangiku handed her a mirror. She did look pretty terrible. The bags she had fought hard to get rid of before the battle of Karakura Town had come back with a vengeance. Her complexion was wraith-like, and her hair hung in greasy ringlets around her face. "Rangiku, would I look better if I cut it?"

Rangiku, who had been bracing herself for a meltdown, sighed in relief and smiled, a twinkle in her eye. "Well, I don't think it would hurt at this point. You can't make your hair look much worse. I have an idea."

A few minutes later, heart heavy but also jumping with a tinge of guilty relief about not having to discuss how Momo had gotten into a coma with her yet, Toshiro followed Captain Hirako back into the room but stopped in surprise. Momo looked up at him as Rangiku snipped off one remaining long lock of dark chocolate hair. It was shorter now.

"What do you think?" asked Momo, her voice happy but also very shy.

Noticing how her childhood friend had frozen and seemed incapable of talking, Shinji said, "I like it. Since it's a new start for you and all, the haircut is fitting."

Momo beamed, adding some much needed warmth back into her face. "What do you think, Shiro-chan?"

He thought for a moment. He had gotten so used to her having the hair back in that bun or down; it definitely looked different this short. However, it brought that inner lightness and fire he had come to treasure so much. "It looks fine enough. You should get some more rest though. You need to get rid of those panda eyes. C'mon, Rangiku."

"But, I just woke up," complained Momo.

"Yes, but you're still weak," insisted her new captain. "Finish resting today, and then should be able to be released tomorrow. Maybe then I'll let you start doing some light training again."

"Yes, Captain," Momo sighed, surprising herself when she had to hide a yawn.

Toshiro snorted as he walked over, ruffled her hair, and whispered softly, "See, rest some more. We'll protect you. I promise."

She grabbed his hand and squeezed, thankful for the warmth running through her.

He initially seemed surprised but returned the pressure, thankfulness pulsing off him, before he exited the room.

 _Why is he so relieved?_ Momo thought.

Training

Momo tried to ignore the growling in her stomach as she stood there panting. Droplets of sweat were pooling at the base of her neck.

"Not bad," said Shinji, coming over and handing Momo a rice cake. "Let's call it a day."

Momo frowned. "I'm still not where I want to be."

"Oh, relax. You've been doing amazingly well. From what I've heard, you've always been gifted with kido, but I am amazed at your mastery of it-especially considering you've only been out of the fourth for three weeks!"

Momo shrugged off the compliment, thoughts wandering. "Captain, could we have a sparring match before calling it a day? So far I've been training just with dummies. Tobiume needs some combat practice."

Shinji rubbed at his head, mulling over the idea. He didn't want to rush Momo, but he had discovered how important it was for her to keep recovering. She was definitely scarred, but she still had this raw determination but also pure sweetness that made her so beloved to her squad members. While she had been really shy- understandably enough-about being around him, he could tell she was starting to warm up to him which meant a great deal. It was nice change being able to rely on his lieutenant, and he wanted her to know that she could trust him to support her. "Well, I guess a quick round wouldn't hurt. Just don't blast me out of the room or anything."

Momo sprung up as they got into positions. With a howl she charged, initially smiling as her sword rang when it connected with his.

"What are you looking so smug about?" laughed her captain. He pushed forward, his upper body strength throwing his lieutenant off balance. Light flicked off of Shinji's blade into her eyes as he raised the blade above her, intent on capturing upon his momentary advantage.

Falling towards the ground, Momo flinched and let out a scream of pure terror. The sword coming down on her wasn't a weapon being carefully handled during a training session anymore, it had become a fang of death. It wasn't Captain Hirako she was seeing; it was a blade and the war. Plus, she was being stabbed.

"Lieutenant Hinamori! Momo!"

"No, Shiro-wouldn't." She held her head in her hands again, doubling over. Their scrimmage had been enough to open the dam of repressed memories. She could feel the pain as the person she had trusted most in the entire universe had skewered her on his sword.

Seeing the reiatsu wisping off of her, Shinji whispered, "Hey, look at me. You're in the soul society. You're safe. I'm sorry; I shouldn't have let you convince me to let you do this type of training yet."

Momo looked up, hating herself for the bitter tears running down her cheeks, inching away from her captain. "That's why you looked familiar when I woke up. You were there. You watched Captain Hitsugaya stab me. Why did you let him do that? You just stood there! You helped him attack me. How many captains will betray me?" At this last bit Momo's spiritual pressure elevated shaking the walls, icy rage flowing through her. She was shaking from head to foot out of anger and sudden exhaustion; after all, this amount of spiritual release was still hard on her recovering body.

Shinji froze at her sudden recollections. Then, he sighed, eyes downcast. "Yes, I was there, but you don't know the whole story. Just _think_ for a moment, Lieutenant Hinamori. I know Aizen hurt you-he hurt me too, but we're not all capable of what that monster is capable of. Do you think _all_ of us would have been attacking you like that? Do you think Toshiro would ever have purposefully done something like that to _you_? Think of how many times he has risked his life and even his position as captain to protect you!"

Momo contemplated his words, trying to keep her breathing under control. What he was saying seemed to be making sense, but it still wasn't sinking in. Truly, it felt like she was shattering into millions of pieces, and she hugged herself, trying to focus her energy. Gradually, her spiritual pressure got back under control, and her shaky limbs about collapsed under her.

Shinji placed his hand on her shoulder. "There, that's better. I know to you it would have looked like I just stood there, but trust me. That wasn't the case."

"So, what _did_ happen? Why _would_ Shiro-chan _do_ that? I don't understand! I want to yell . . . shake him, or something!"

"It was Aizen. He used his powers to make us think we were fighting and hurting him. Ichigo Kurosaki saw through it first and asked us what in the hell we were doing. That's when figured out who Captain Hitsugaya had really stabbed . . . you. Aizen had switched places during the fight. He had taken your place on the ground, and you were somehow up by us. We were horrified. Do you remember the switch?"

"Not really," Momo said, shaking her head. "I just remember the ground and then ending up on the end of Hyorinmaru. Toshiro held me close and lowered me to the top of the building. I asked him why, and then . . . he set me down. That's when everything went black. I might have heard some roaring."

"That was definitely Captain Hitsugaya. According to others, he's dived in before when you've been in danger without thinking every possibility through, but I can vow he was unreachable when he realized what he had done. I've never seen someone snap in fury like that. He attacked Aizen, got cut down instantly. Lieutenant Hinamori, Momo, we went in after him, and we were all seriously injured in the charge. In the end it took mainly Gin Ichimaru and Ichigo Kurosaki to get him . . . taken care of."

"So, it's over?"

"He won't ever hurt you again. None of us will let him."

"What about Captain Hitsugaya? I can't believe I have to even ask if I am safe around him!"

"Well, you've been thrown with some curveballs lately, so it's a reasonable question to ask. Trust me, he cares more about you than anyone else. He would never intentionally do anything like that to you."

"That's why he was so uncomfortable when he saw me at the fourth division."

"Yes, we debating between ourselves if he should even be around when you first woke up. He obviously feels terrible. Because it's him, he hides that fact. He just trains super hard every day in a cave outside of the Seireitei. Rangiku told me he said something how he needs to get stronger to protect you. How do you feel? Have I saved your Shiro-chan from being fried by an angry childhood friend?"

Despite everything, Momo grinned at her captain's playful demeanor. "I'm still trying to wrap my head around it. I'm angry, confused, and I'm not sure what to say to him."

"He feels the same way. Why do you think he is doing such intense training?"

Momo bit her lip. "I mean that I guess I've attacked him before, and he brushed my apology right off."

"So, will you go have an honest conversation with him? Maybe you could get him to take a break every once and awhile. He's working too hard, and it's making me look bad."

"Yes, but I'm not ready yet. First I need to hear a story."

Shinji cocked his head. "What story do you want? That's more of Lisa's specialty."

"Rangiku said that Aizen manipulated you as well. How did he do that? Forgive my bluntness in asking, Captain Hirako, but I need to know." She didn't say it out loud, but she needed to understand what the common ground between them was.

"Well, it all started when he was my lieutenant."

Momo's eyes got really big.

"Yeah, I think you will make a much finer lieutenant than he did. I can't tell you all of it or the old man will have my head, but I can tell you enough. After everything you've endured, you deserve to know. Get comfortable; this will take awhile."

The Art of Conversation

It had taken a while for Shinji to finish his story, and Momo was thankful to have a better understanding of her captain. Her breaths came out in icy gasps as she neared the cave. The distance she had needed to shunpo to get there was a good workout. She paused, hesitating on her next move. He wasn't masking his spiritual presence, and she knew he was there. Butterflies rolled in her stomach, and she shook her head angrily at herself.

"Take charge of the situation, and quite being indecisive. He needs you," she whispered, her breath visible to her.

Momo muttered an incantation to mask her spiritual pressure and inched forward. She gritted her teeth as the spiritual pressure rose, whipping around her. _How can he keep this level energy for so many hours? He should be exhausted by now._

 _Yes, he has grown,_ whispered Tobiume to her master.

Momo smiled. _Yes, he's not little anymore._

 _Then will you stop calling him Lil'Shiro?_

 _I . . . don't know if I can._

Tobiume chuckled.

Momo shivered, clutching her shawl close to her, as she proceeded further into the darkness. Giant ice surrounded her and breathing became more and more difficult.

 _You should wait outside for him, child,_ urged Tobiume. _This is too dangerous for you. Even Rangiku won't enter this place when he is training._

 _I know, but if I'm nothing else, I'm stubborn. I have to see him, now._

Momo flinched as ice slivers nicked her arms, and she feel to her knees. Ignoring the worried protests of Tobiume, she crawled around the bend and saw Toshiro in his bankai form. He was magnificent, focused, angry, cold, and pure power. Her mouth fell open. The energy was so oppressive that Momo's vision started to swim, and she undid the kido incantation, positive she was about to pass out.

Toshiro spun around, eyes blazing, seeing Momo's form but thinking his mind was playing tricks on him. "No," he gripped, "I'm going crazy. She will not have to be hurt like this ever again. I have to get stronger."

"You're strong enough," Momo whispered, realizing he was not processing yet that she was really there.

"No, I'm not," he snapped.

"Shiro-chan, please, stop for a minute!" Momo fell forward, arms shaking.

Toshiro blinked, the fact Momo's reiatsu had entered the room now sinking in. "MOMO!" Rushing forward he grabbed her arms, flinching when he saw the slight scratches. "IDIOT, I could have killed you! That pressure _should_ have killed you. What were you thinking?"

She searched his face, whispering, "You already tried to kill me, remember?"

Toshiro gasped at the words shot at him, and an artic blast swept through the room. Lights popped in Toshiro's eyes as he remembered those awful moments, how he had held her broken body in his arms. Momo flinched, and Toshiro willed himself to calm down. "So, you know?"

"Yes, I was training with Captain Hirako today, and it all came rushing back."

"Momo . . . I'm sorry."

"Sorry, do you really think that is going to cut it? You STABBED ME!" Fire flashed in her eyes. "You can't just hide out in a cave all day and not talk about it with me."

Toshiro flinched. "I know. Attack me, do whatever you want. I won't try and stop you."

Momo cocked her head and softly muttered her sword's release. Toshiro leaned back, surprised. Then he nodded in resignation, setting his sword on the cave floor, bowing his head.

"One question first. I could hear some of the conversations. You stood there; you've done that too the other times I've been unconscious. We grew up together. Why was it so suddenly hardly to talk to me?"

Eyes downcast Toshiro whispered, "It's because all those times, I had been the one to mess up and fail you, especially this time. I didn't deserve to say anything until I got stronger."

"Then," Momo smiled, "pick up your sword and see how strong you've become. Fight me. We never got to spare in the academy together."

"No, I won't."

"Why?"

"Don't you see! When I saw you like that, I . . . lost it. I won't ever hurt you like that again. I WON'T!"

"Don't make a promise you can't keep."

Toshiro looked at her, angry. "I'll keep this one."

Momo sighed. "It's you, so you'll do your best, never mind the cost. Shiro-chan, I know Aizen tricked you. He's tricked all of us. Captain Hirako told me how Aizen ruined his life as well. I'm still sorting through everything, but to the core of my being, I know you would never purposefully do something like that to me. I've been tricked too many times and know my own heart and yours now. You didn't stab me, not really. Captain . . . no, just plain Aizen did."

"But, it was my sword."

"Yes, but technically, my sword tried to run you through before as well. You shrugged all of it off like it was no big deal then. Why won't you trust me to do the same?"

"Momo, that was different."

"How? I hardly see a difference."

"You wouldn't," he snapped.

"What does that mean?" Momo asked, flustered.

"I know I can't protect you always. After all, you're a vice-captain in your own right. Still, protecting you is still my responsibility. Momo, why do you think I went into the academy?"

"You've told me. You wanted to protect Granny."

"Yes, that's true, but that's not all of it. Hearing you talk about it so much on your visits was annoying, but once there I wanted to get close to you again. I was so proud of you. Then, when I realized I was _good_ at it, I was determined to make captain level. Jeez, I wanted you to stop calling me Shiro-chan."

Momo smiled. "I remember that deal we made. Sorry, even with everything you've done for me, I sometimes forget."

"Don't worry about it," Toshiro grumbled running his hands through his hair.

Momo knelt down, forcing Toshiro to look her in the eyes. "I do worry though. You have to let me take responsibility for my actions and worry about you for once. Anywaya, if you are going to push yourself to this distance, you are going to have to let me push myself as well."

"I know."

"Then, let's go. Just don't go bankai on me."

"I'm not sure this is the healthiest way to resolve this situation," Toshiro noted dryly.

Momo laughed. "Maybe not, but when has our situation been normal over the past few years?"

Toshiro's lip rose, and he accepted Momo's offer to help him up. Her laughter was bells and sunshine, and he pulled her close to him. "What is our situation exactly?" he rasped, voice tinged with desperation.

Momo froze for a second and then hugged him back. "That's a good question. I can't imagine my life without you in it."

Toshiro nodded. "Me neither-I've missed you."

Momo nuzzled her head on his shoulder. It was so warm, comfortable, and homey. "Me too. In a way, I think you're the only one I've ever been able to depend upon completely."

"So, you're not angry."

Momo stopped nuzzling and gazed at him. "No, I'm not. Forgive yourself already."

"I'm not sure I can."

She poked him gently. "Do it for me."

Toshiro squeezed tighter, eyes misty. "Anything for you, Momo."


End file.
